Twenty-three. God. When you lose someone early enough, it's hard not to wonder. What would she have been like by now? What would she have looked like, sounded like, felt like when she hugged? What would her favorite color have been? Her favorite song? Would she have turned out better, in the long run?
I went to the park today with some paper, to try not thinking for a while. But wherever my ballpoint and I go together its hard not to face the truth.
You figure she would have turned out perfect. Certainly, she's never been there to prove you wrong.
Just. . .we were really little. Mom put us both to bed one night, it was spring, Jen'd just had a birthday. I woke up, Jenny didn't. It was simple and awful as that. Just one of those random things. That and the mourning after are my earliest memories. I've always wondered, growing up. You know? Why she had to die, or why her and not me. If she would have been less of a disappointment to my family. Mom always calls me on her birthday and sounds like she'd rather hear someone else. I look at old pictures and I realize she would have been beautiful.
. . .It's a little rough for me to talk about. Sorry. Just. . .yeah.
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------------------------------------- I used to have a pretty good handle on the Big Picture in life. Then I got distracted by all the small shiny parts.
...great picture. I really like (?) the feeling about it. You're really good at anathomy.... And I can't help but adore the little wings. And her hair, don't even know why.
To experience that, I cannot begin to fathom the hurt and loss. I bet she's proud of you though. You're an amazing artist, and I bet she smiles on you every sunrise.
I wish I could come up with something to say, but I can't. The picture is beautiful.
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Theres only now, theres only here. Give in to love or live in fear No other path, no other way No day but today. - RENT --- Live today as if you'll die tomorrow, But dream as though you'll live forever. - Ebba
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Comments
Perfect form, lovely concept and the hair is adorable...it's very realistic.
Love it.
The picture itself is very nice. The hair especially is rendered amazingly. I can really sense the feeling that went into it.
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" You're about as funny as being set on fire. In fact, you'd be funnier if you were on fire, please remedy this as soon as possible." - ~akanah
. . .It's a little rough for me to talk about. Sorry. Just. . .yeah.
--
-------------------------------------
I used to have a pretty good handle on the Big Picture in life.
Then I got distracted by all the small shiny parts.
--
" You're about as funny as being set on fire. In fact, you'd be funnier if you were on fire, please remedy this as soon as possible." - ~akanah
And it's inapropriate, but her butt, too >.>
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~Ma-ze-ru <--this is the new account ♥
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Who needs drugs when there's insomnia?
--
Electric Ace's Hogwarts Room!
[link]
The picture is beautiful.
--
Theres only now, theres only here.
Give in to love or live in fear
No other path, no other way
No day but today. - RENT
---
Live today as if you'll die tomorrow,
But dream as though you'll live forever. - Ebba
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